Sarah vs the Beautiful Mess
by uplink2
Summary: This story is about choices and their consequences. It begins at the end of chapter 10 of Minirix's Beautiful Mess.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N This story is something different for me. It was inspired by another AU story and as such is an AU of an AU. **

**First of all I need to thank the writer for the original story for graciously letting me play in her universe. Minirix, I am humbled that you would allow me that honor. All during the posting of Beautiful Mess, we got into some great discussions about the story, our views on love, on the amazing characters and on the Charina/Charah fandoms in general. We agreed and disagreed on many things. But those discussions were always a great deal of fun for both of us. **

**What I loved about that story was that at no time did Minirix disparage any character to tell the story she wanted to tell. She was especially respectful to Sarah, unlike some other authors who feel the need to somehow punish her for the choices she made in order to get to the ending they wanted. That was never the case in Beautiful Mess. It's why when during the discussions we had, I suggested a story idea and even though she felt it wasn't a direction she wanted to take with the story, I couldn't get it out of my mind so I asked if I could write it. She agreed and has pre-read this chapter given her blessing to have it posted. This is not an attempt to take anything away from that story, it is just a different course with different choices and different consequences. I hope fans of both pairings can find something to enjoy here.  
**

**It will also get darker and more angsty than anything I have ever written and in many ways that is to challenge myself with writing something outside my comfort zone. There will be uncomfortable moments for me to write and probably for the reader to read, but I hope that in the end we get to a satisfying conclusion.**

**This story starts at the very end of chapter 10 of Beautiful Mess. The first few lines come directly from that chapter. Knowledge of that story would be very helpful and it is most definitely worth a read. But basically the story is that Sarah left with Shaw after Final Exam and Chuck was sent to Rome where he was partnered with an old friend. He works with Carina for three years and their on again off again flirting has now gotten to the point of a new relationship developing when Beckman tells them that Chuck will be assigned to work with Sarah and Casey again to finally take down the Ring. Carina is offered the chance for a new assignment but agrees to stay with Chuck and the rest of the team. Also Marc Rossi, an old "partner" of Carina makes an appearance causing Chuck to make some decisions to move things forward and not let life and love pass him by this time. **

**This story will explore those choices and their consequences along with what happened to Sarah during those three years Chuck was partnered with Carina.**

**Thanks again to Minirix, and I hope I honor your talent with my version of what might have happened to our beloved characters. Thanks also to Angus McNab and mssupertigz for their pre-reads as well. Check out their fantastic work along with Minirix's as well.**

**I still don't own Chuck.**

**Chapter 1**

**Choices**

_"Can we focus on the mission please?"_

_"Can't you stay and let Sarah go to Cairo instead?"_

_Rising from the bed, she set the papers next to him. "It's what the General wants, Chuck. She's your cover girlfriend anyway. Go through the papers, and if you flash on anything, just call Casey," she said in a professional tone. "And don't annoy her too much. She's been through a lot," she said before walking over to the door._

_"You haven't answered my question."_

_She paused._

_"What if I try harder? What then?"_

_All she did was shake her head, half-turned to look at him with a humorless smile. "You're just chasing rainbows, Chuck"_

_Her footsteps rang in his ears long after they faded away. It was strange. Whatever hopes he had should have vanished with her words. They should have died with each step she took. But it didn't._

_Because he finally understood how she felt._

_And he knew - he wasn't wasting his time..._

Still sitting on the bed in Castle's make shift infirmary, Chuck thought back to their conversation. Carina Miller was one exasperating woman. The mixed messages she had sent him for the three years they had been partnered had not only added to his confusion but also had kept him on his toes and allowed him to finally move forward in his life. Even now with Sarah back it seemed like he had finally turned the page both with his past and his present.

Sure the first time he saw Sarah after all this time his mind had wandered, '_I really am over her... I should be.'_

But now that after far too many days of avoidance they had finally had a few, small, less awkward talks and some of the stress and anxiety he felt when hearing about her return was beginning to fade. Even though he saw how tired Sarah was, how some of the light that had always been in her beautiful blue eyes was now gone, he felt they had both grown to accept the consequences of the choices and mistakes they had both made so long ago. This Sarah Walker was not the same woman who left with Daniel Shaw three years ago, but neither was he. The stresses of the lives they both had chosen had certainly taken their toll.

But now he was frustrated by another beautiful woman. She was as complex as Sarah, similar in so many ways but completely different in many others. But one thing was very similar; a real relationship with Carina Miller was just as difficult to start as it was with Sarah Walker.

Chuck closed his eyes and took a breath. His heart shuddered just a bit at the idea of speaking both names in the same thought, and now here together in the same apartment. It had been that way ever since they all moved in together.

_"What if I try harder?"_

What if he did? What if he made a choice to move things along? Things couldn't keep going the way they had been. What if they needed to be pushed? Carina didn't seem like she was going to so maybe it was time for him to step up to the plate and swing for the fences.

Plus there was the appearance of Marc Rossi, who Chuck knew that no matter how many times she denied it, Marc Rossi was not just _'a nobody'. _There was definitely a history there and maybe it was time for Chuck not to simply back away like he always had before. He had done that too many times with Bryce, Cole, and finally Shaw. Maybe it was time for Chuck to be the man that other guys backed away for. Before Sarah left for DC he didn't try hard enough to win her back after he realized his terrible mistake with Hannah and how miserably he treated her. He just watched Sarah's relationship grow with Shaw and let her walk away. He didn't act like the Bartowski his sister had raised him to be and he wasn't going to let that happen twice. If Carina chose Marc over him, it wasn't going to be for lack of trying. He had a choice to make and he was going to chose to keep her around and find out just what the hell was going on in that complicated redhead's brain.

Chuck knew that what he was going to ask for was risky on many levels. He had no idea how each of the three women involved would react to him taking such a bold step. First, the General would not like him challenging her decision. She never liked it when an agent questioned her orders. But Chuck had always been something different. He wasn't a typical agent and his relationship with his boss was never cast entirely in the traditional sense of the chain of command. It was his out of the box thinking that had caused him to be so successful as both an asset and an agent. So he was allowed a certain leeway that others would never even dream of asking for. He hoped she would grant him that same leeway here.

He was also concerned how Carina would react when she found out he went behind her back. Carina may like to improvise on missions but she was not someone to question her assignments. Would she be upset that he asked for this change or would she be flattered and excited to spend a week playing nursemaid with Chuck? Of course, she would probably never let him see that.

The real unknown however, would be Sarah. How would she react to Chuck in effect sending her away? He thought that they both had come to accept that what they once had, whatever that might have been, was now in the past and that trying to get back there was simply a bridge too far. That the decision Sarah made three years ago to leave with Shaw was just the final nail in the coffin of Chuck and Sarah that he had begun building when he downloaded the 2.0.

There were many nights during these past almost four years, especially early on, where he lay in bed desperately wishing he had gotten on that train in Prague or at least respected her feelings enough to have explained to her why he was choosing to become a spy instead of running with her. That he was doing it as much for her as he was for himself. But that day on the platform in Prague it was like he was a different person. He had already started to become closed off and he came across as only being concerned for himself and what the CIA had built for him. He screwed up, told her nothing about why he was really doing this and all Sarah could see it as was betrayal. Chuck Bartowski broke the heart of the woman he loved that day because instead of seeing how far she was putting herself out there for him, he came across as rejecting her for the life she no longer wanted.

Both of them had made mistakes, terrible mistakes. But sometimes even the best of intentions can't undo the mistakes of the past. The future he once dreamed of with Sarah was beyond his reach and he hoped that in the infinite number of alternate universes physics tells him might be out there, in at least one of them he got on that train.

He didn't want to hurt Sarah. He had done that enough in the past and that was the last thing he wanted to do. But just as Sarah was his past, maybe, just maybe Carina was his future. This time he wouldn't be passive. This time he would mold the future he wanted. He wouldn't let happenstance determine his life or his happiness. He would be in charge of his life or at least his love life.

As one door closes, another one opens and he was damn sure he was going to walk through that door this time and not wait for it to come to him.

Chuck reached for his phone and dialed a long memorized number. It amazed him that the diminutive General always seemed to be in her office no matter what time of day or night he called.

"Hello, General."

"Hello, Agent Bartowski. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"If I may I'd like to ask you something and I hope you will hear me out before responding." Chuck held his breath waiting for a response.

"I'm listening."

"You did what?!"

"Carina, I'm sorry. You said this was just a simple surveillance mission. I thought it might be just the thing for Sarah to get back on her game. You yourself said she has been through a lot and that I shouldn't annoy her. I think spending a week babysitting me would be about as annoying a mission as she could possibly have." Chuck tried to smile that self-deprecating smile that had worked on his partner many times these past three years.

It didn't.

"But you went behind our backs and got our orders changed. How could you do that? I'm an agent, we don't get to pick and chose the missions we go on."

"I know, it's just I... ah..." he voice stumbled awkwardly before continuing. "Okay, it wasn't just to help Sarah get back in the field,"

"Spit it out, Bartowski." Carina stood there with her arms folded under her breasts. He didn't dare break her gaze but he could have sworn he heard her tapping her foot waiting for his answer. No one had done that to him since Ellie found him coming in through the Morgan door at 5 am after a long night of gaming with his best friend when he was sixteen.

Carina's stare didn't waver.

"Okay fine... Carina you said _maybe I have_ _to try harder._ Well this is me trying harder. I didn't want to spend a week with you thousands of miles away. Something's happening here and if I'm going to be out of action for a week, then I want to spend that time trying to figure out what this is between us."

"It's just a cover, Chuck."

"Bullshit!"

"What?" Carina was a bit shocked at Chuck's language. Sometimes she thought he was a too much of a boy scout. She kind of liked the more vulgar, assertive Chuck.

"Look Carina, I heard that 'It's just a cover' line way too many times from Sarah. It was bullshit then and its bullshit now. Maybe this is going nowhere and maybe this is a mistake but I'm not going to just let you go hide behind that gorgeous Agent facade this time."

"And what makes you think I want to spend the week babysitting you? I've been doing that for three years, maybe _I_ wanted a break. Did you ever think of that?"

"Ahhh. well." Chuck was dumbfounded. His shoulders slumped a bit in defeat.

Carina decided to give him a break. "Chuck look at me," His eyes cautiously found his partner's. "The new more assertive Chuck is kind of hot but you had no right to go messing around with our assignments. We do what we're ordered to do and we like it that way."

"But you are _always _improvising on missions; I'm just following your lead like Marc said."

Chuck noticed something flash in Carina's eyes for a second but then it was gone. He was more convinced than ever that there was a definite story to his partner/fake/non-fake girlfriend and the handsome agent.

Carina ignored the comment and decided to change the subject instead. "Beckman agreed to the change?"

"Yea, it is a simple op and I was able to convince her that working a mission alone with Casey might be just what Sarah needed. Once he got himself reinstated to the Marine Corps after Sarah left with Shaw and we went to Rome, he did a two year tour in Afghanistan. The General kept tabs on him as he had always been her best agent. After reading the reports of his missions there, she decided to reinstate him as an NSA agent. With our success against Fulcrum and the revelations about the Ring, she wants to partner him with Sarah again and thought this might be a good chance to rebuild that relationship. He always said Sarah was the best partner he ever had."

"Gee, and I thought it was me." Carina smugly grinned.

"Well handcuffing your partner to a bed not once but twice can have a definite impact on your standing." Chuck chuckled.

Carina grinned that sassy grin he had come to really enjoy seeing. "Ok, maybe it is a good idea but I'm still pissed you did this behind my back."

"Well, I'll just have to spend the week convincing you it was the right thing to do; and you actually _do_ want to spend time with me."

"Hmmpf. Don't flatter yourself. You're not that great."

"Remember, this is me trying harder and I can be irresistible when I try harder." Chuck wiggled his eyebrows in the distinctive dance that seemed to work on two agents he knew.

Carina rolled her eyes. "Well as punishment for going behind my back, you're going to have to be the one to tell Sarah, alone. No way am I going to be there for that one….. _partner_"

"Uhhm." Chuck hesitated. That was something he had hoped to avoid.

"Look Chuck, I don't know what went on these past three years and she will never tell me but it's obvious that Sarah has been through hell. Over these last couple of weeks she's been here its obvious she's not the same person she was the last time I saw her with you back in snoresville. She seems like the years she spent after leaving you have worn her down. She's not the same agent and she's not the same girl or friend I once knew. I know seeing you again must have been hard on her even with the choice was she made three years ago. No matter what happened after I left between you two, I definitely know she loved you Chuck and maybe a part of her still does. And no matter how hard you try to deny it, I know a part of you still loves her too."

"Carina... I"

The redheaded beauty held up her hand to stop his denial.

"Chuck, it's ok. I get it. I may live by the rule that spies don't fall in love, but I know it happens. This is just an example as to why it shouldn't. It changes you and many times you are not the same agent you once were. You two may be great actors trying to make everyone think you have moved on and maybe you have, but the pain is still there down deep. I'm a good spy but I'm also a good friend to both of you and I can see it in your eyes when you look at each other or more accurately, try to _avoid_ looking at each other. I care about Sarah. She's as close to a best friend as I have ever had and I just don't want to see her get any more hurt ok?"

"Wow Carina, that is the most ahhh... _human_ thing I think I've ever heard you say to me."

"Don't get used to it, nerd boy."

"Annnnd you're back." he said, with a slight lopsided grin, before once again sobering, "Look Carina, I won't deny that a part of me still loves Sarah, I probably always will. But sometimes you have to live with the consequences of the choices you make. Sometimes you can't go back and fix all the mistakes. I know it will sound corny to you but I once thought there was one true love out there for everyone. A soul mate if you will. But the two times I thought maybe I had found mine, it turned out the spy life got in the way and I must have been mistaken because nothing, nothing in this world should be able to defeat that kind of love. But I've seen a lot of darkness in this life ever since Bryce sent me that email. From what I've experienced I'm not so sure that those things exist for me anymore. But I have to move forward and that's what I'm trying to do. Maybe I can't have it all and maybe _it all _doesn't even exist. I just want to find whatever happiness I can in this life and ridiculous as it may sound, being around you makes me happy,... sort of." Chuck grinned.

"Ok fine. But you better tell her soon as we were supposed to be leaving tomorrow. She's going to need as much time as possible to go over the mission directives, get geared up and then head to the airport."

"I know. I'm just going to go through these files for Casey and then call you. The doctors said you could take me home tonight. I'll go talk to her then."

Carina reached out and grabbed his hand, holding it gently. "Chuck, I know you're not a great liar especially where Sarah is concerned, but leave out the part about wanting me to stay, ok? I just don't want to cause Sarah any more pain."

"Ok. I promise."

Carina got up and headed up the stairs out of Castle but before she got to the top she turned back to her dorky partner. "And Chuck? You better have something special planned for us this week besides some stupid movie marathon or comic book night."

"I'm recovering from being wounded Carina so I can't promise anything." He said with a smirk.

The redhead rolled her eyes and headed up to her room shaking her head. Once out of Chuck's view, a small smile took over her beautiful face.

Chuck lay back in his hospital bed and opened up the folders Casey had given him seeing if he flashed on anything. But he also needed time to think about how he was going to tell Sarah that she was going to Cairo and not Carina.

**Two Hours later**

Sarah sat at the desk in her bedroom at the CIA apartment that Team Bartowski called home. She was looking at a few pictures from long ago that she could never quite get herself to remove from her phone. Over these past three years far too many times she had the "delete pic?" button displayed but just couldn't make herself press it. One time shortly after she got to DC, Shaw had come to the apartment she had moved back into after three years in LA. He found her sitting on the couch that was still covered by the sheet her cleaners had placed there when she went to Burbank, looking at them. He had asked her to move into his DC penthouse with him but just like she told Chuck that last night on the stake out, it was different with Shaw and she just wasn't ready to say yes. Ultimately, she never did. He saw the look in her eyes as she gazed at the screen and smugly laughed at her sentimentality and his apparent victory. She had chosen him after all. When she saw the look on his face she winced. It wasn't professional and she knew it but the Chuck she had once known and loved was gone and not just physically. He'd changed into something she never wanted him to become and it was all her fault. She would have to live with that guilt the rest of her life. Shaw had used her to force Chuck into making the choice to complete his Red Test or wash out as a field agent, and he chose to kill. As she ran after him on the tracks after hearing the shot, she witnessed the final death of the kind, lovable nerd she had fallen so hard for. Her heart shattered as she saw Chuck standing over the dead mole with a gun in his hand. She quickly turned away to hide her shock, called Shaw and left. It was the last time she ever saw him till they all returned to Burbank a few weeks ago. It was a memory that haunted her dreams to this day.

But she still longed for those days when a simple smile from Chuck would brighten her whole day. When she walked into the BuyMore and his face would light up like a child on Christmas morning, or at least what she thought a normal child would do unless she and her father had been in their town that year. No one in her life had ever looked at her like that. The looks she normally got were usually filled with either fear, betrayal or lust. Shaw never looked at her like Chuck did and maybe that was for the best. He was cold but he was safe or at least she once thought so. She knew where she stood with him and the life she once dreamed of with Chuck was just that, a mere dream for someone like her. She had changed Chuck into a copy of herself and she couldn't bear to witness it first hand anymore. So she left for DC with Shaw before Chuck even returned with his new badge. She never did say goodbye. She couldn't trust him any more. He had killed someone and become just another spy like her. Sarah Walker had completed her mission perfectly and so she did what spies do. She left without a word. She rationalized that it didn't really matter anyway. Kind, nerdy, wonderful Chuck was gone too.

Shaw was exactly that same kind of man but had never pretended to be anything else. He was a spy, professional, cold and always looking for an edge. She knew when she told him her real name and he said he wanted to know more, he was just pretending. He was doing what all good spies did, exploiting a weakness and seducing a vulnerable mark telling her what he thought she had wanted to hear. And she foolishly fell for it. Then she just watched as Shaw beat the crap out of Chuck and did nothing. But telling Shaw her name had never been about him. It was about a lonely girl grasping for anything she could hold on to. That night when she returned to Castle with all the things Chuck had taught her about, like sizzling shrimp, she let her guard down and woke up in his arms. They were the wrong arms her heart knew, but the right arms were on a man who didn't exist anymore.

The next two years would prove how little she really knew Daniel Shaw, how easily she had let him play her, till it all came crashing down.

And now it was all too late. She had to live with the consequences of her choice. The couple she saw in those pictures was from a different life. A life that was just a dream back then and now she was certain it was a life that never could be. It was too far out of reach, never really hers and she needed to move on.

But could she?

Now back here with him, as she looked at the pictures she could never make herself delete, she felt a new pain. She had known that when she got on that plane to DC with Shaw that she was closing the door forever on a relationship with Chuck. But seeing him with Carina hurt. She couldn't deny it. Seeing him everyday with her was her own personal hell for all the mistakes she had made in her life. This was worse than seeing him with Lou, Jill or Hannah. They were all something she could never be, normal. Well maybe not Jill but the others were. But Carina was just like her and she couldn't deny seeing them together made her long for what once was and what could have been.

Though maybe now at least when she got to spend this week with him while Casey and Carina were in Cairo, it would finally let her get the closure she needed to accept the consequences of the choices she made. Their talk the other day had finally broken the ice that both of them had danced around since her return. She hoped that now away from the distractions of a mission or the gorgeous redhead Chuck obviously had developed feelings for, he would have to stop avoiding her. And hopefully she might be able to once again call Chuck Bartowski or sadly she realized, more appropriately Charles Carmichael, a friend.

Sarah quickly closed the pictures when she heard a soft knock on the door. She checked herself in the mirror to make sure that she was presentable and that there was no trace of what she had just been doing. Chuck was a spy now and a damn good one. If he and Carina found each other and found a way to be happy then she didn't want to be the focus of any discontent for either. She cared about them both and she would continue to put on the happy agent facade she had been wearing ever since she returned to Chuck's life.

The knocking became a little louder the second time.

"Sarah,? it's me Chuck. Are you busy?"

"No, just a sec." Sarah turned her head slightly to each side as she looked in the mirror for one final check. Comfortable that no evidence of what she had been doing the past hour and practically every night since she returned was showing, she went to open the door.

"Hi Chuck, glad you're back. Come on in." She said just a little too cheerily.

"Thanks. I..." Chuck stumbled a bit as he stepped into the room. This was going to be a difficult conversation but if he was going to follow through on his promise to himself, he had to get through it. Things had been awkward between them since her return but in recent days it had gotten better. He hoped that would continue.

"Are you feeling better? Can I get you anything?"

"No, much better, thank you. I'll only be a minute." Chuck took a deep breath. "I spoke to the General before I left Castle and she asked me to tell you something." He said with his back to those piercing sapphire eyes. He knew that even though they were not as deep and full of life these days, he could never really hide anything from her. So he hoped he could avoid them, deliver the message and hide his true intent. No matter that he was moving ahead with his life and she still represented so many difficult emotions, he could never bear the thought of knowingly hurting this beautiful woman. He had done that to her too often in the past, a past he needed to move away from.

"Okay. What is it?" Her voice cracked ever so slightly. It would have been imperceptible to anyone else but that voice was something that had been music to his ears for so long and something he studied with more dedication than any vocal student at Julliard. It was still the voice of an angel but it sounded weary.

Chuck turned around and glanced briefly at those sad eyes but looked away in hopes he didn't give himself away before continuing. "There's been a change of plans. The General has decided she wants to alter the assignments for Cairo. Your familiarity with the Ring and the mission is greater than Carina's and she hopes that partnering you with Casey on this mission will bring back some of the success you two used to have." He tried to put on the small humble smile he used to use with her and keep the mood light.

"Oh." this time it was Sarah's turn to look away in hopes of hiding her disappointment. Taking a quick breath she recovered. "Actually Chuck, most of our success was because of you." She turned and flashed him a soft sincere smile. He knew she really meant it.

"Well, I had the finest teachers and they did all the work." The honest smile he gave back to her was the most beautiful thing she had seen in a very long time. It recalled in her mind why he had always been so special. It was something she hadn't realized she missed so very much. It was the first time she had seen even a glimpse of the old Chuck directed at her in far too long. Since before he stood over the dead body of his target on those dark and lonely train tracks. The innocence he once had, gone forever.

Realizing that this was heading into some territory she couldn't let herself venture into, she changed the subject back to the mission. "So when do Casey and I leave?"

"Your flight to Cairo leaves at 11 am."

"Ok, I better get started packing then. Did you look at the mission profiles? Did you flash on anything?"

"No, nothing major. Just a few small time mercenaries."

"Okay, well it's just surveillance but let's hope we get lucky."

"Yea, if there is anything you need, you know where to find me."

"Ok, but you need your rest. If it's something important I can contact Carina. I assume she will be with you the whole time?" Chuck heard that small hitch in her voice once again.

"Yes, the General has assigned her to be my babysitter. She wasn't too happy about spending a week playing nursemaid to a nerd. She thinks you got the better end of the deal."

Sarah chuckled and tried to react to his humble attempt at humor. He still had a way of making her laugh like no one else.

"I think she can suffer through it" They both looked at each other for a split second in recognition of something long ago but quickly turned away. They couldn't go there.

"Well I best be going before Nurse Ratched comes looking for me." He smiled again and quickly headed towards the door. Just as he was about to leave he glanced over his shoulder and saw Sarah with her eyes closed for a brief second. He frowned but said nothing and headed back to his room.

Now that the tough part was done, he had to come up with a plan for what he was going to do with the other woman in his life with no missions and no other partners for eight days.

Once Chuck left, Sarah closed the door and leaned her back against it. She knew him too well. He may not be Chuck Bartowski anymore but even Charles Carmichael was someone she could always read. The irony hit her like a ton of bricks. This time it wasn't her running away from him to be with Shaw, it was Chuck sending her away so he could be with Carina. The heart she thought she had walled up so high and couldn't be hurt again was breaking all the same.

**Six Days Later**

"Awe, come on. Just one more and that's it, I promise."

"No way, you have corrupted my brain for the last time. If I have to sit through one more of those stupid episodes I swear I'm going to shoot you again myself."

"Please, we're just getting to Exodus and the big battle ending the Occupation."

"Enough Bartowski! If I see one more episode where that hot Apollo guy got all fat I'm going to scream. What was up with that anyway? Nope, don't tell me. I don't want to know."

"A ha! You are enjoying them!"

"Hot pilot, yes. Fat Captain no."

Chuck leaned over and tried to sneak a small kiss from his redheaded partner. The playful banter that he had missed since DC was back now that it was just the two of them. Sure he hadn't got much further in his _try harder _plan but he had missed this. Add in an occasional kiss like he was trying to steal now and things were looking up. Sure it wasn't anything like the two she had laid on him a couple weeks back. But still this felt comfortable and he knew she felt it too, or at least as much as she would ever let on with him.

Just as he pulled away there was a chirp on the big screen they had been watching the DVD's on and the symbol of the NSA appeared for a few seconds before the image of an obviously concerned General appeared.

"Ahh General we were just..." Chuck straightened himself up and moved away from his partner on the couch.

Ignoring him she got down to business. "Agent Miller, Agent Carmichael." Chuck knew something big was up in how she addressed them both.

"Yes, General?" Carina said before Chuck could stumble again.

"I'm afraid we have a serious problem. Agent Walker and Colonel Casey have not reported in, in 2 days. We have no GPS on their phones or any signals from any trackers. Nothing. Checking footage from all the cameras we could get access to in a fifty mile radius of their last location got us this footage. It's not much but we hope you can help us with this, Agent Carmichael. It may be our only lead."

Suddenly a dark grainy black and white image appeared on the screen. The image was from a camera in an ATM machine about thirty feet away. There was no way to tell for certain what they were seeing.

"General, there really isn't much there. What should we be seeing?" Carina asked.

"It's not what you should be seeing exactly but there is an audio file that goes with it. It's very low but our experts have processed and filtered it. It's not very long but you can clearly hear a man talking to Agent Walker." The General then pressed a button on her keyboard and a very poor quality, noisy recording began to play.

"Well, ...Agent Walker, you gssh... getting sloppy. I ne... would have been able gssh... sneak up ... gssh... like that a ... years ago. I guess what hap... gssh in Dhamar shook you up more than you let on...B... it's going... gssh ... be fun getting reacquainted, don't you think?" Carina then heard the sounds of bodies being thrown into a vehicle and speeding away but Chuck never did. As soon as he heard the name Dhamar, he flashed.

Chuck shook out of the flash and his face looked horrified at what he had seen.

"General, oh shit...oh shit… oh shit. Oh my God"

"What is it Chuck?" Carina asked. Her face was showing grave concern at the sight of her partner almost hyperventilating.

Chuck stood up and ran his hand nervously through his hair. He turned around, hurriedly walked a few steps before taking a breath and returning his gaze towards the screen. "Oh God... General, Sarah is in grave danger and we need to find her and Casey fast or I just... we can't..." His eyes closed in anguish.

"Oh God, what have I done?!"

**A/N2 Yes, no, maybe? Your thoughts would be appreciated. Next chapter is about half finished and after that is posted I will be updating LL&L. I just really have been consumed by this idea and I hope I don't loose many of my loyal readers by taking a different track with my writing choices.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N Thanks so much to all who took the time to read and review. The mixed reaction was something I had expected but was thrilled by both the number of reviews but by the fact that so many seemed to trust me enough to read a story that may have some subject matter they might not fully enjoy. I just hope that the ride I take you on will be worthy of that trust.**

**This chapter we begin to learn some of what happened to Sarah during those three years since she left Burbank with Shaw. I know what your thinking but all of this is necessary as I fill in some of the wholes on the canvas Minirix so graciously let me play on.**

**Thanks again to Angus McNab for his read through. I did make some changes since he read it so if something doesn't work, the blame is all mine. Thanks again to Minirix for being so kind in allowing me to use her story as a basis for this one. **

**Still don't own Chuck but I did encode all five seasons, well except DVD 2 of season 3 I just couldn't even allow myself to touch that one, onto a single jump drive so I can carry it with me in my pocket.**

**Chapter 2**

**Consequences**

**Five days earlier**

**Cairo**

"Walker, you get the camera setup first and I'll unload the rest of our gear. I saw a closet off the bedroom that should be able to hold it all."

"Okay Casey. Once I'm done I'll take the first watch and you can get us some food." Sarah gave her new/old partner a small smile. It was good working with Casey again. She knew he had her back and she his. In these few weeks since being partnered again it had begun to seem at least in part, like old times. Sure there was a huge part of their team missing, the part that at least at the beginning she and Casey communicated through while they kept at odds about almost everything else. It took a while but all three grew to trust one another. A trust that saved each other's lives any number of times.

But that third leg of their stable team tripod now just seemed like it came from something or someone completely different. Like somehow it wasn't the same length as the others anymore and things were always going to off kilter. Sarah wasn't sure if it was her, Chuck or both, but things weren't the same for any of them. Casey had spent much of his time since Team Bartowski broke up back in an active war zone. Sure troop levels were winding down but at times the action was heavy, especially for the Marine Colonel. But the reunited Team Bartowski hadn't really jelled like it once did. Ever since Casey stole the Laudenol to protect his one-time fiancé and newly discovered daughter leading to his being let go from the NSA things had changed and it didn't seem things would ever return to the glory days of team Intersect.

If he was completely honest, things were never the same after Chuck downloaded the 2.0 and whatever the moron did to break the heart of the once proud CIA Agent that Casey was certain Bartowski was in love with. But once Chuck failed spy school, came back and the team was reunited, you could have frozen meat with the temperature between them. But at least it seemed their missions were still as successful. But things really went in the shitter when their team dynamic was destroyed by the pathetic excuse for a spy, Daniel Shaw. Casey never questioned his superiors but he really had no idea what Beckman was thinking when she assigned that toolbag as their new leader.

He had all the arrogance and more of Larkin but with none of the style or class. He was a poor excuse for a spy and almost got his partners killed on more than one occasion. Hell he was even willing to blow up Castle with the most important piece of government intelligence, The Intersect, still trapped inside all to protect some stupid disks that he had never let the other members of his team see for themselves. Casey had been so tempted to put a bullet in Shaw if he actually gave the destruct command. Protecting the Intersect was his number one mission after all. It was one of his biggest regrets that he never got to actually do it.

But he was even more surprised by Walker's seeming acceptance of Chuck's fate. She had weakly protested instead of gutting Shaw like he thought she would. When she was around Shaw, and he _always _was around her it seemed, she lost her edge. The fierceness to protect Chuck, let alone the Intersect that she had displayed with such intensity over their first two years together seemed to gone once Chuck started dating the brunette nerd herder he met on his first solo mission. Once Chuck started going out with Hannah, Shaw saw a weakened prey in Walker and moved in for the kill. The thought that Hannah was in fact a Shaw plant on that plane had occurred to him right after she showed up at the BuyMore. He was more certain of it when Chuck came prancing into Castle like a kid who just lost his virginity and flaunted the fact he had gotten laid in front of Sarah. Sure he teased Sarah about it as that was his thing but even Casey was disgusted by such locker room behavior from Chuck in front of the woman he once had strong feelings for and probably still did.

Even after Chuck broke up with Hannah, Casey was still not fully convinced that Hannah was an innocent. It was all too familiar and convenient. That's why after getting dismissed he told Chuck it wasn't too late for him and Walker.

Casey had always felt, though he never spoke it out loud till that moment, that as long as it didn't affect the missions whatever happened between Walker and Bartowski was ok with him. But once Shaw arrived their team chemistry was destroyed and it did affect the missions. Even after being kicked out, Casey knew that Shaw was using Walker to get Bartowski to take his red test. It's why he followed him there. Shaw set Chuck up in a no win scenario and Sarah was the key to that setup. It's why he went to the train tracks that night. He may not have been a spy anymore but protecting Chuck had stopped being just a mission a long time ago. He didn't have to follow Shaw's orders anymore like Walker did.

There were many times over the last three years that Casey had wished he could have told Walker what happened that night on the tracks, but technically he had committed murder and if it had gotten back to Beckman, Bartowski wouldn't have gotten his badge. Besides Walker and Shaw left the next day and never looked back. Their mission was complete, Chuck Bartowski was a spy. Seeing Chuck lost Sarah to Shaw, he couldn't bring himself to take away his agent status as well. The kid had suffered enough.

But as he watched the best partner he ever had over these past couple of weeks since Beckman had partnered them up again he could tell that she was a different woman and a different spy. Whatever happened over these three years had taken the best spy the CIA ever had and turned her into a tired, broken version of herself. Sure even this Sarah Walker was still better than 80% of the agents out there, but having worked side by side with her in her prime, he could tell that she was different. A little older, a little more tired and there was a sadness to her he hadn't ever seen before. It seemed Shaw had destroyed that part of Team Intersect as well. He just hoped that maybe somehow being partnered again with him, Bartowski and even Miller that some of her edge would come back.

"Thanks for the falafel, Casey."

"No problem, Walker. Anything going on while I was out?"

"Nothing yet. Just a few street vendors setting up so far."

"I have a sneaky feeling this is going to be a slow week."

"Yea, these surveillance missions can be boring as hell."

"Almost makes me wish the mor..." Casey caught himself a little too late. Sarah's shoulders sank just a little.

"Casey, it's ok. You can mention Chuck around me. That was a long time ago and you're right, Chuck did always give it that extra effort to make these missions go by a little easier with his music mixes and sizzling shrimp."

Sarah's eyes closed for just a split second too long. Even Casey knew that she was remembering some specific stakeout. Little did he know however, that it was the last fleeting moment when she thought she and Chuck might still have a chance to get back to each other. If only Shaw hadn't interrupted and they could have had that one more kiss. Who knows how things could have been different for everyone if he had radioed just five minutes later. But ironically that night was also the last night that Chuck, her Chuck, even existed.

Sarah quickly turned away and looked back at the building they were to be monitoring for any suspicious activity for the next six days.

"Walker, why don't I take over a little early. You look like your a little tired and can use some rest."

Sarah smiled at her partner, understanding his unspoken meaning. It was good to be back working with the tall Marine.

"Thanks Casey, I am a bit jet lagged."

Sarah got up and looked at the small single bed in the corner of the drab two room apartment that would be their base of operations. She had stayed in many a worse location over her years in the CIA but somehow barren, depressed, ramshackle places like this apartment a few blocks east of the Khan Khalili marketplace seemed to make her think about things a lot more than they used to. The kind of thoughts that were dangerous for an agent to have when they were on a mission. Thoughts about choices, consequences, what-ifs, and a future other than the next mission.

Sarah took off her boots and placed them at the foot of the bed, put her phone on charge hoping that the outlet didn't arc when she plugged in her charger. Once she laid down she turned herself so that she was facing away from her partner. She took a deep breath and tried to push those dangerous thoughts out of her mind. She had a mission and she needed to focus on that. But in this moment, even with the best partner she ever had only ten feet away, a street full of people living their lives just outside the window, she couldn't help but feel completely alone. It was a feeling she had been having more and more the longer it was since she left Burbank with Shaw. Her eyes began to moisten slightly but no tears would come. She had cried far too many tears over the last four years since Chuck walked away from her in Prague and there were simply no more left. Especially after that night in DC. She knew all she should be thinking about was her mission but somehow the fact that she was here instead of Carina opened an old wound she had desperately hoped had scabbed over.

Sarah pulled her knees up a little tighter against her chest. It was a protection method she had been employing a lot in the past year ever since... She pushed that memory back down to her deepest compartment where it lived with one other. She knew she had to get some rest but that was a commodity that had been hard to come by for a very long time.

**Later that day**

**Burbank**

"Aren't you ready yet?" Chuck yelled to Carina in the bathroom while he paced the living room for the fiftieth time.

"What's a matter Chuckles, you getting impatient?"

"No, it's just I don't want to be late and forced to spend the first act in the lobby."

"Well, would that really be so bad? Then you would just have to buy me some very over priced champagne while we stand there."

Chuck rolled his eyes. "Hey, we had a deal. I was to come up with some things to do to impress you and then you would do some of the things I like to do with no snarky comments. The least you can do is be on time for the fancy stuff. These tickets cost me a bundle."

"Don't worry Chuck, I have no intention of missing the first act. The play doesn't start till eight. Besides, don't you think I'm worth it?"

"I didn't say that. It's just Ellie taught me to never waste money and if I'm going to spend it, I want to see it."

"Isn't the CIA paying for this?"

"No, of course not. This is Chuck Bartowski taking a girl on a date to the theater not Charles Carmichael and Chuck Bartowski uses his own money to impress a girl."

"Sap." She whispered with a smile.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing, ..." Carina walked into the living room where Chuck was standing and she saw his jaw drop to the floor. No matter how many times it had happened to her, she still enjoyed having an effect on men. She was wearing a low cut, backless taupe sequined dress cut three inches above the knee. Her auburn hair was layered in soft pin curls and her makeup was perfectly understated. This wasn't the glamorous super agent/model look Chuck was used to seeing on her during a mission. She was dressed for a date, not a mission. This was a woman dressed to impress the man taking her to see a play, a late dinner, and then off to a jazz club for some more subdued dancing than Carina would have liked. But Chuck had a built in excuse for not choosing the current hot dance club like Exchange LA or Avalon Hollywood. He had been shot after all. So they compromised on a little more subdued way to end their evening.

"From that goofy expression on your face, I take it you like what you see."

"Ahh,m ahhhh. Like isn't the word for it."

"Thank you Chuck. That new suit looks pretty damn hot on you too."

"Ahhh... Thanks?"

"No Chuck, I mean it, even with your injuries you look good enough to eat." She gave a seductive look that had probably slain many a mark over her years in the agency. And that was part of the problem. The mixed messages of one Carina Miller. Which was the real Carina? The one dressed to impress her boy..., whatever Chuck was to her, or the trained seductress who seemed to never turned it off whether on a mission or not.

This was one of the differences between the two women spies who had been such a big part of his life. With Sarah he always knew there was a very different woman underneath the agent facade. There had been a few precious moments when she had let her guard down enough to him and he saw, well Sam, though he liked to think of that woman as Jenny. Chuck knew Jenny Burton but he didn't know anyone named Sam. His time with Jenny made him smile but Sam only brought pain and regret. He could see Jenny was clearly there inside the beautiful blonde. But it seemed that it was a different man that got to see Sam.

But with Carina it was always what you see is what you get. Sure there was a depth and more to her that he had seen these past three years, but it was just more of the same, mostly. Where Sarah was mysterious at times, Carina was in your face. Her seductress persona was so polished and so powerful it was impossible for him to know whether she was playing him or she really did want him for something beyond the present moment.

But tonight was his chance to show her that he, Chuck Bartowski, could also be at home in the circles that Charles Carmichael frequented. He could go to the theatre, follow it with some fine dining and treat her to the lifestyle she had grown accustomed to. Then she would have to show him that she could be comfortable in jeans, a plain top, eating Chinese food out of the box while watching episode after episode of one of his favorites, Battlestar Galactica or Firefly. It was a test of wills to see who would blink first and realize that there was merit to both lifestyles and they could enjoy them and hopefully each other, together. It was something he had done many times with Sarah over the years and it was usually in those simple quiet moments at home that Jenny showed herself however briefly to genuinely enjoy that time. With Carina it had always been a mystery to him if there was a Jenny inside or not.

"Well... I think we'll keep the dining portion of our evening until after the play."

"Sound good to me, I do my best eating late at night and early in the morning and later again in the day." She winked at him and he couldn't stop the gulp.

"Uhhmmm"

"God Chuck, you are just too easy." She chuckled but again hidden in all of the banter was just enough of a tone to her voice to keep him guessing if she was serious or not.

Chuck had first thought of getting tickets for The Crucible but that seemed a little too Arthur Miller for his plan. Then he considered the stage version of The Graduate because he thought that Carina might have some very interesting comments about Mrs. Robinsons's seduction techniques on Benjamin but ultimately decided on the LA production of The Book of Mormon as a fun evening for both. Those tickets cost him what he used to make in a week at the BuyMore but he hoped it would be worth it.

"Okay fine but can you lighten up just a little bit here? Let's have a fun night, can we?"

"Okay Chuckie I'm all yours. Let's see if a nerd knows how to treat a woman right." Carina gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and looped her arm through his and for a moment he thought they were off on a real date. He just hoped she had never used that very same line on a mission.

**3 days later**

**Cairo**

Sarah and Casey had been spent the entire last seventy-two hours doing what felt like watching paint dry. They had been on twenty-four hour surveillance of what looked to them to be a small time operation of illegal arms dealers trading in East European and Chinese knock-offs of AK-47's and other small arms used by local criminal operations. Nothing they had seen led them to believe anything that the CIA or NSA was interested in was taking place in the backroom of this Cairo version of a convenient store. If you wanted a disposable cell phone or a Ruger SR22, this was the place to come. But there was no indication of anything going on at the level that warranted their being here. It had been three days of wasted time that local police should have been handling not two of the best agents in the US Intelligence service had to offer. When they had made their early reports to Beckman, she simply stated that they were to complete their mission and maybe something bigger would come up.

That was one of the many frustrations of this kind of spy work. Many hours upon hours of time spent ultimately ending at a dead end. It is what had been so different in the earlier incarnation of this team. They had achieved far more in those first two years against Fulcrum than Sarah had made in the last three years against the Ring. When Sarah left Burbank not only did she leave behind so much personally, she also left behind so much professionally. Mainly her stellar success record.

Now true much of the first eighteen months after Burbank was spent in DC heading up the CIA Ring task force with Shaw, but it soon became clear that very little progress was actually being made. Dead ends, poor intelligence, ineffective strategies and team management by Shaw became increasingly frustrating for the one time superior field agent. After a failed mission where two agents were killed and three were seriously injured Sarah asked for a private meeting with General Beckman to discuss her concerns.

Shaw had overruled her decision to delay the mission till she got verification from her informants on the ground and went ahead with it on very questionable intel that even the analysts at Langley said was unreliable.

_"Agent Walker you wanted to see me privately? Please, have a seat." The blonde agent sat down across the desk from the head of the NSA._

_"Yes, ma'am. I know this is against protocol but I have to express my concerns about our operation and in particular Agent Shaw's real agenda."_

_"Real agenda? Isn't his the same as ours, taking down the Ring and protecting this country?"_

_"Yes, ma'am, at least I thought so. But lately it seems that Agent Shaw has become more and more desperate. Our general lack of success is causing him to take more risks with our teams, ignoring the advice of our analysts and overruling decisions I've made based on my years of experience in the field."_

_"Agent Walker, those are some pretty strong statements you are making about one of the CIA's most trusted operatives. I hope you have some clear evidence to back up your claims." _

_"Yes ma'am. Agent Shaw overruled my decision not to undertake the Tangiers mission until after we received confirmation from our informants of the nature of the force our agents were likely to be encountering. Because of a severe sandstorm in the area they had been unable to get to the location where our agents were going to be Halo jumping into. I felt, and so did our analysts, that the risks involved with that kind of a jump into an unknown force were too great and that a wait of seventy-two hours was in order."_

_"Go on, Agent Walker."_

_"Well when I informed Agent Shaw of my decision, he was angry, very angry and said that the mission would go on as planned because we didn't have seventy-two hours to waste for some local nomads to tell us what they saw in the desert. General, the Taureg informants we have used in this area are highly skilled and very disciplined operatives. I've worked with them in the past. If they say wait, we wait. But Agent Shaw didn't see it that way, he ordered the mission to go on as planned and we lost two good agents for nothing. But all he said was something about even the smallest chance at exposing a connection between the Ring in North Africa and operations in France being worth whatever price we paid."_

_"Agent Walker, I hope you understand that I have to ask these next two questions and I expect complete and honest answers."_

_"Yes, ma'am." Sarah knew full well what the questions were going to be. She just wondered which one she would ask first. _

_"Agent Walker, everyone in the higher levels of this business has to make very difficult decisions that we fully understand could cost the lives of the heroic men and women we order into harms way. Are you basing your concerns for Agent Shaw's decision on the fact that the mission ended up being a failure or on the fact that it bothers you that he overruled your decision?"_

_"General, I realize that Agent Shaw is the ranking member of the task force and that ultimately it is his right to overrule my orders. I am fine with that. It's just that this decision was reckless, with no corroborating evidence that a seventy-two hour delay would have compromised that mission. It was as if he was after something far more devious in why he wanted that connection exposed. Quite frankly it was the most animated I have ever seen him."_

_"That brings me to my next question." The General leaned forward onto her desk and her eyes softened just a bit. "Sarah, I have to ask if this has anything to do with your personal relationship with Agent Shaw?"_

_And there it was. The fact that Beckman had chosen to ask that question second was significant especially in light of the difference in how she referred to her when she asked it. Ironically the fact was that in many ways it was the easier question to answer._

_"General, Diane, my concerns for the actions of Agent Shaw have nothing to do with my relationship with Daniel. In fact what little relationship we once had never really amounted to much of anything it seems. And if in fact we even still have one it has nothing to do with my professional opinion. The incident I cited is not the only one where it seems to me that Agent Shaw's lack of field experience has made some of his decisions suspect. He seems to be driven by not just solid spycraft but by something far more personal. I have been aware for a long time that he blames the death of his wife on the Ring and that is possibly why he was so driven to bring them down. Maybe that is why the North Africa Paris connection is so important to him. I don't know. But it seems that as time goes by he becomes more reckless and he doesn't grasp what an agent and his team needs in the field anymore. He also doesn't seem to trust the intel he is getting from our field operatives."_

_"So what are you suggesting?"_

_"Ma'am, if I may, I'd like to take our operation out into the field. Let Agent Shaw and I get out of Washington and out into the trenches and let's see first hand what is going on out there. Let me do what I do best. Maybe we can find what seems to be causing the lack of success we have been encountering. After a time Agent Shaw hopefully will be able to understand better what his team needs for them to be a success and what he isn't providing as far as leadership and mentoring."_

_Sarah knew full well what their team was missing in their fight against the Ring. She had known it for a long time. But it was something she couldn't speak of and she couldn't ask for. What her team and if she was truly honest, she herself was missing was lost on a dark and foggy train track behind Union Station. But she simply couldn't allow herself to think of that anymore. Plus maybe getting back into the field would finally move her relationship with Shaw, whatever it was, one way or the other. It had been stagnant for far too long if it ever even had a life. _

_Sarah had begun her relationship with Daniel Shaw simply because he was there. He was safe, familiar and she knew where she stood. Never first. Plus he never demanded anything of her on a personal level. He was content to 'play' with the surface and let her keep her walls up as high as she wanted inside. She knew there was no chemistry between them, in fact she didn't think Daniel Shaw knew what personal 'chemistry' even was. Maybe it had been there with his wife at one time but since her death he seemed to have lost the ability to connect with anyone on any level below the surface. He was robotic, and he was predictable. But that predictability was far less threatening than the emotional rollercoaster one Chuck Bartowski took her on. Besides, Chuck had become just another Agent. What was left was also a reminder of something great she had helped take away from the world in exchange for just another killer. _

_Shaw had no complexity. But she had made her choices and the consequence of those choices was he was all she had left. Maybe getting out into the field with him might help her team and some of what had made her partnership with Bryce work could be found with Shaw. It certainly hadn't while working behind a desk. Lord knows their life in Washington these past eighteen months was as fulfilling as a root canal._

_"Very well, Agent Walker." Sarah noticed the return to business. "I'll take your concerns under advisement and will let you know my decision by the end of the week."_

_"Thank you ma'am." _

_As Sarah stood up to head towards the door General Beckman called her by her first name once again._

_"Sarah?"_

_"Yes ma'am?" she said as she turned towards her boss._

_"Sarah, I know this past year and a half have been difficult for you. In fact I realize it started long before that. You became accustomed to great success as the best field agent this country had. Your work with Team Intersect was exemplary and you have every right to feel pride in what you and your team accomplished. That success and your part in it is why I picked you for this position. _

_"But I also understand that your personal life has had its challenges over the past number of years. In fact I'm fully aware that there were certain challenges long before that. But you have always managed to rise above them and do what is best for the greater good. I honor your commitment. I fully expect that it will continue. I need my best agent in this war against the Ring. I hope she recognizes that as well."_

_"Yes, ma'am and thank you again for seeing me." Sarah gave the General a small smile and headed out the door. She hoped getting back into the field would bring the CIA's best agent back as well._

Sarah looked through the intel they had brought with them to Cairo for what seemed like the hundredth time. None of who they had hoped to see here had shown up. Not even the lowest level of Ring operatives had made an appearance at their little storefront. If things didn't change soon it seemed they would be heading back to the states empty handed. Something that had happened to Sarah far too often in recent years. The strain of failure was beginning to weigh heavily on her once again. And that strain had an even more bitter taste since... He mind jerked back to reality. Suppressing those thoughts was something she had been getting a little better at since she was placed back on active duty six months ago but they still made their presence known at the most inopportune times.

Taking a deep breath she decided to take a walk through the bizarre. It was something she had done each day since they arrived. Casey would be monitoring the cameras for the next two hours and maybe some fresh air would clear her head. She folded the cover back on the intel files and stood up from the small table and grabbed her phone and head covering. Even in modern day Cairo a blue eyed blonde stood out from the crowd.

"Casey, I'm going for a walk. I should be back in time for my shift. I'll bring you some dinner. Call me if you see anything of interest."

"Okay Walker. But I sincerely doubt one of the Ring Elders will be showing up to buy a cell phone."

Sarah gave him a small chuckle. It had been good working with Casey again. He tried to put her at ease and he didn't push her to talk. Not that there was much to say. Things were the way they were. But she was grateful just the same. He just let her know like he had many times before the he had her back.

Sarah had learned something since she left Burbank that she thought Casey should know. But telling him would open up her own wounds that were just now beginning to heal. Someday she hoped she'd have the courage to share it with him.

Sarah grabbed her Smith and Wesson and headed out the door, first checking her surroundings before she ventured out into the warm Egyptian evening.

**Burbank**

"Are you really going to make me watch another one?"

"Come on there's just one more episode and then we get to watch the movie!" Chuck's eyes lit up and he gave Carina the big old puppy dog face.

"God I don't know how the hell Walker sat through all this crap. The redhead's eyes rolled for about the tenth time that afternoon.

"Hey, she actually liked the movie or at least she told me she did."

Carina leaned forward and got about three inches from Chuck's suddenly shocked face. He didn't know if he should kiss her or run for his life. With all the seriousness a trained field agent could muster she looked deeply into his eyes and said. "We're spies, we lie for a living."

And there it was, the ever present question. Even after dealing with agents for the better part of six years, Chuck still hadn't found the ability to definitively decide what was a lie and what wasn't. Sure he had gotten much better at telling lies himself and with Sarah he had simply been incredibly naive for so much of their time working together. But Carina had once told him that _'a spy doesn't want you to know anything about them that's real. No matter who you are_.' It was a statement that even with all of the unspoken subtext between them since they had been partnered, he simply ignore the fact that it was probably the one thing she had said to him he was certain was completely honest.

"Fine, but you promised that if I tried harder to do some of the things you love then you would at least try to enjoy what I love."

"Well they should start using some of this stuff at the farm for training. It would be more effective than most of the torture techniques they teach us." Carina's words said one thing but Chuck caught a hint of something else, something almost playful in her voice. Even though it may have been torture for her at least she did sit through it with him. Chuck decided that was progress enough for this day. A year ago Carina would have gone running and screaming at the idea of sitting through a Firefly marathon.

**Khan Khalili marketplace**

Sarah walked along the busy aisles of the marketplace. The silks especially were her favorite things to look at. There were many vendors who specialized in them and some were of some of the finest quality in the world.

Shopping for beautiful things like these Persian silk scarves was one of the few things that brought a smile to Sarah's face in a very long time. It had become sort of an escape from the monotony of her current mission and it kept her mind from wandering into areas she was trying desperately not to focus on. But it was all so very hard. Inevitably her mind would look at the beautiful intricate designs and colors and think about how she would look in them. What outfits would she wear them with and how maybe the colors would bring back some of the luster even she knew was now gone from her eyes. But invariably those far too brief moments of simple pleasure would pass and she would sadly put them back and continue on her walk of escape.

But this time when she came around the corner that would lead her back to the apartment she was sharing with Casey, a merchant she had not seen before had set up a cart against a small low wall adjacent to the edge of the market place. It seemed that a few others she had not seen before had set up as well as it was towards the end of the week.

As Sarah walked by, a beautiful blue scarf with small white flowers caught her eye. It was stunning. She stopped and took it from the rack. As she held the delicate silk she ran her hands down its length almost caressing the exquisite workmanship. As she gazed at it's beauty her mind drifted back to a moment in a small closet almost six years ago. This scarf would look perfect with the blue top and the little white buttons. The colors were an exact match and the yellows and soft greens woven through it would go perfectly with her hair and skin tones.

Even though she hadn't worn that blouse since she left Burbank she had never been able to part with it. It was one of two things she still kept in that zipped compartment hidden deep in the suitcase she always had kept packed and they were never far from her side, even during those times she was in DC with Shaw and all the missions since. In the darkest moments that followed after what happened in... she still couldn't allow herself even think of the name of that place, she had pulled both items out only once though even now she knew they were still there where they always had been. The tears that followed when she saw them came raining down almost like a catharsis for her. That night nine months ago, as she sat in her apartment in Washington, all the pain of all the mistakes she had made in her life came crashing down. Sarah Walker cried like she had never cried in her life. It was as if thirty years of mistakes, chances not taken, lost happiness, betrayals and decisions made out of fear all hit her at once. And the consequences of all of those decisions was that she was bearing all of that pain alone. It took her three days to come out of her apartment and rejoin the world. Unfortunately the world she had left before her didn't hold much appeal anymore.

Looking at the delicate scarf however she was transported for a moment to another life where she waited in anticipation of how Chuck would respond seeing her wear this beautiful treasure. How big his glorious smile would grow. How her heart would skip a beat knowing such a simple thing could stop time and make her feel like the luckiest woman alive to be the one who was blessed to have that smile focused only on her. But then in an instant her eyes closed as her heart realized the reality now was that that amazing smile was no longer hers to see but in fact was now being given to someone else, someone she still thought of as her best friend.

They all were so different now. Chuck, Sarah, Carina even Casey. Chuck, a hardened spy and killer. Sarah no longer the agent she once was and someone who had lost the taste for this life. Carina, no longer the full time tease and predator she once was or so it seemed. But maybe that was because there was no competition anymore. She was no longer taking what Sarah wanted because it seemed she already had it or at least it was being offered to her. Casey had fallen back into a bit of his cold-school killer persona and though she knew he had her back, much of their banter that in truth came because of their connection with Chuck had not returned. Maybe because this team was structured differently than it had before. Or maybe much of the fun Casey always seemed to get from teasing her about her relationship with Chuck was pointless now and he got no pleasure in picking at an old scab. Besides, teasing Carina would inevitably end up bringing back moments he would rather forget.

Sarah placed the scarf back on the old wooden hook it had been hung from. No point in buying something that would simply remind her of ghosts from long ago. She headed off towards the small cafe where she would pick up food for her partner and her. Though she knew she had little appetite. Something else that had been hard to come by ever since...

As Sarah had been lost in her thoughts while holding on to the scarf, she hadn't noticed the eyes of a tall American man watching her while she daydreamed. He was seated in the back seat of a black Audi sedan parked at the end of the alley across from the vendor. When a gust of wind had lifted the head covering Sarah had put on when she went outside for her walk, her blonde hair and deep blue eyes could be clearly seen. It was a face he would remember always. Instinctively he traced the scar on the right side of his neck. A scar that had miraculously ended just a few millimeters from his carotid artery.

As he watched her look upon silk object of her fancy, she seemed somehow different. A bit less sure of herself than the reputation she once had. Once she placed the scarf back on the rack and headed around the corner towards the cafe he motioned for one of the men with him to follow her at a respectful distance. Even pre-occupied, she was still Sarah Walker.

Once they were out of sight, the tall American man in his early forties stepped out of the car and headed over to the vendor and bought the blue scarf that Sarah had been admiring. There was something about this scarf that seemed important to her. He had clearly seen her response to it. Maybe it would be something that gave him an advantage. As he paid the merchant he caught a faint aroma of vanilla and lilac. A combination of smells that gave him a slight chill even in the Egyptian heat.

It was a smell that had haunted him for the last year. A smell that reminded him just how deadly one beautiful blue eyed woman could be. It was a smell he wanted to become very familiar with again but under much different circumstances. Circumstances where he held all the cards, not the idiot that nearly got him killed.

"Well Agent Walker, I wonder why this caught your fancy. I'll have to ask you once I have you strapped to a chair. If nothing else this will serve very nicely as a gag around that beautiful mouth of yours as I inflict the pain I've been waiting an entire year for you to feel."

**A/N2 Next chapter we learn more back story for Sarah and find out a bit more about how Chuck will react to consequences of his choices. Plus Marc Rossi returns.  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N Again thanks to all the readers and reviewers. I really appreciate the great response both good and bad to this story. The most difficult part of writing this has been to write it based on accepting all of canon through the end of Final Exam when Minirix began Beautiful Mess. There are so many things that bother me about season 3 and writing with them intact has been a big challenge. But that challenge is one of the reasons I chose to do it.**

**Thanks to Angus McNab for his read through. I still don't own Chuck.**

**Chapter 3**

**Revelation**

**Cairo**

**Audi sedan**

"So what did you find out?"

"I followed her to a small cafe where she ordered two portions of Ful Medames, an order of Kushari, four bottles of water and two coffees."

"So she isn't alone."

"It appears that way."

"What else did you find?"

"She took a roundabout route through a back alley but ended up going into a small building diagonally across from Haji Hassan's shop."

"That small time gunrunner? What the hell is the CIA doing interested in a two-bit thug like Hassan?"

"Well sir, for the last year Hassan has been moving larger amounts of cash and weapons from the Black Sea through the Suez. It seems he's gotten on their radar."

"Why wasn't I aware of this? Nothing is supposed to happen in this part of the world without my knowledge." The tall American was getting angrier by the minute.

"Sir, this was authorized when you were still recovering from your... incident."

"Damn it! That bitch cost me three months of my life!" The tall American set his jaw shook his head while staring unfocused out the window of the sedan.

"Sir, I believe they are staying in the third floor apartment. The windows are drawn but I asked around and they said they have seen an older American military type enter that building though the same back alley. They said that apartment has been vacant for a few months."

"Shit. It's got to be Casey. I thought that bastard was in Afganistan. How the hell did he get back with the NSA? That idiot screwed that up too." He pounded his fist into the rich leather upholstery.

"Sir?"

"Nothing." He shrugged and thought for a few seconds. "Maybe he might be of value as well. I'm sure some of our _friends_ would like to get their hands on a Marine Colonel."

The aide waited a few more seconds before speaking again. "What are your orders sir?"

The American took the scarf he had purchased and held it up to his nose. As he breathed in the faint scent one more time he closed his eyes. Its light, almost mystical aroma was in sharp contrast to the many conflicting smells from the bazaar. But here in the climate controlled back seat of the Audi its haunting perfume overwhelmed his senses. His thoughts now settled, his mission clear.

He opened his eyes and gazed eerily at his assistant. "I want two teams on full surveillance for the next twenty-four hours. Tomorrow we send a couple of _'known'_ operatives for a visit with Hassan. Maybe we can get my old friends to come out and play."

"Yes, sir." His aide nodded and stepped out into the warm Cairo evening.

The American took the scarf and neatly folded it back up and placed it in his pocket. He wanted it with him as a constant reminder of what she had done to him. Though the scar was certainly something he couldn't ignore, scent is one of the most powerful senses associated with memory. He had been hoping every day for a year that he would get his chance to make the beautiful blonde pay for what she had done to them.

He reached forward and tapped the shoulder of the driver signaling to head back to his base of operation. He needed to plan his revenge carefully so he could savor every minute. Nothing could be left to chance.

**Burbank**

**Next morning**

"Chuck I'm going out for a run, I should be back in an hour or so."

"Ok, Carina. I'm going to take a shower then I've got some dailies to look at for the General. I should be done by the time you get back." Chuck turned around and saw his redheaded partner dressed in black skin tight running pants, matching sports bra, and powder blue Adidas running shoes. Her long red locks tied up in a ponytail. Carina had been leaning against the doorframe of Chuck's room admiring the view as Chuck was bent over in just his jockey shorts downloading today's dailies onto his laptop. As he stood up and turned around he noticed the smirk on his partners face. He decided to turn the tables on his partner.

"See anything you like?"

"In your dreams nerd boy." Truth be told she definitely saw something she liked very much. She had seen him like this many times in their three year partnership and he had worked out a lot in that time. Chuck Bartowski would never have a body that exuded power but what he did have was one that was built on speed, lean agility and pure athleticism. He was more basketball than football, soccer than rugby. It seemed that some of the skills he learned from the Intersect had helped him get past the clumsy oaf stage he was in when she first met him going after the Alahi diamond.

Had Chuck been the kind of guy that Carina was used to, handsome, confident and in most cases a player, she would have jumped in the sack with him a long time ago. Spent a wild night or weekend in bed, the shower, even in the back seat of a limo, likely all three. But when she first met Chuck, he turned her down because he was already falling for Sarah big time. That dance had only continued when she came back with her 'fiancé' Karl. It was obvious to Carina that Chuck and Sarah loved each other but they were both miserable. Hell she had given Sarah the surveillance video where he told her so. Hell she had given Sarah the surveillence video Then when she was partnered with Chuck after he got his badge it was obvious something devastating had happened and she had broken his heart. He told her that Sarah had left with another Bryce Larkin type. For Carina, it reinforced the idea that she would never break the cardinal rule of spying again. Chuck was hurting and spies who are emotional wrecks tend to make mistakes, deadly ones.

When Carina saw Sarah again on a trip to DC about six months ago she could see that Sarah had changed. Carina never asked what or why but it was obvious she had been through a lot and not just professionally. She decided not to tell Sarah she was partnered with Chuck and not to tell him she had seen her. Just like she had known that Sarah wanted Chuck long before even she did, she knew that no matter what had happened to her, a part of Sarah still loved him. And Chuck was the kind of guy who would always love Sarah in some way no matter what happened between them. It was a painful wound they both had tried to mask but she knew better.

But for Carina this was part of the problem. When their partnership began he was just too heartbroken and he needed a friend much more than he needed to get laid. Over time she also began to realize that Chuck was unlike any spy she had ever known in many different ways. He was very reluctant to kill anyone, no matter how evil, and only did it to save her or an innocent's life. But she also realized that Chuck was not the kind of spy who would get off on post mission adrenaline filled sex just for the hell of it. If Carina was going to enjoy that body that stood before her now, she was going to have to give him hope that there was something beyond just eight hours of the best hot, sweaty sex of his life. It would have been so much easier if she had been partnered with someone like Bryce. Do your mission, do your partner and jump on a plane to the next one. Clean, simple, fun. But definitely not Chuck Bartowski. Maybe that's why Sarah left.

"Actually I think it's your dreams we're in, Carina."

"Nerd nightmares you mean."

"Suit yourself but after tonight you'll be singing a different story."

"Got something special planned for me I hope? It's my night and I'm about nerded out."

"Definitely. But you're just going to have to wait to find out what it is. And no complaining that spies don't like surprises. Tonight we are on a date and surprises are what make a date special. At least dates with Chuck Bartowski." Chuck gave her a confident yet teasing smile. He knew she would love what he had planned. He had booked a private curator tour of the FIDM Museum and Gallery. LA's Museum of Fashion.

"Okay Chuck but it better be good. See you in an hour." The redhead turned and headed for the door. Her grin got a little larger. She could tell from his expression that what Chuck had planned for her was going to be great. She also knew that with any other guy, once they got to her hotel after their amazing date the real fun would begin. She would be hopefully screaming his name for hours before she kicked him out the door in the morning with a kiss on the cheek and a have yourself a nice life. Or as she had done on more than one occasion before she was partnered with Chuck, leave them with a bullet wound in the head. But this was Chuck Bartowski and nothing was that simple or that easy.

One of the things that Carina enjoyed about their relocating to LA was that there were so many great places to go running. The beaches, Griffith Park, and one of her favorites, Echo Park Lake. It was a nice flat course and there were always lots of hot guys and other 'scenic views' to take in. She may have once called Burbank snoresville but it did have its plusses.

The redheaded agent was about 2 miles into her planned 5 mile run when her spy senses kicked in that someone had been closing on her for the last half mile. Carina never wore earbuds when she ran. Her agent training simply wouldn't allow it. It was too easy to miss the sound of a safety being released on a weapon or a knife being pulled from it's sheath. Her superior situational awareness had kept her alive many times in the field and she actually practiced her training many times when she ran.

This time was no different. She hadn't turned to look but she knew someone was there and they were slowly but surely getting closer. Up ahead she knew there were a couple of small park buildings and when she rounded the corner she quickly hid behind the cinder block wall. Once the person who was following her came around the corner she would be in perfect attack position. As the footsteps got close she set herself and waited. The tall handsome man almost ran straight into the intimidating beauty standing there with her hands on her hips and a knowing smirk on her face.

"I was wondering when you were going to notice me. I was afraid you were losing your touch." The man said with a cocky smile.

"Never gonna happen. But I might say the same thing about you. I've been aware you were behind me for the last half mile. Maybe it's you who should be worried about losing your skills. You used to be pretty good at tailing a mark and not being noticed."

"Believe me if I didn't want you to know I was here, you wouldn't have."

"So why were you following me?"

Her 'stalker' raised his hands in surrender. His sweat stained t-shirt lifting slightly showing off his washboard abs just enough to get her attention. "Well not that watching that beautiful ass of yours isn't reason enough, I actually wasn't. I was just out for a run and saw you in the distance. That's all I promise."

Carina ignored the compliment. "Sorry Marc, try again."

"Honest Carina. This is all just a coincidence. I found this place a few years ago when I was stationed here on a long term assignment. I come running here every so often. The lake keeps it a little cooler on hot days like today."

Carina had noticed the same thing. It was one of the reasons she liked running here to beat the LA heat. So maybe Marc was telling her the truth. . . . for once.

"Ok fine. But you're lucky I didn't drop you when you came around the corner."

"I knew you would be there. It's actually what I was counting on." He said with the same confident smile she was once so enamored with.

"Counting on for what?" Carina was using all of her spy skills to keep a straight businesslike expression.

"Look Carina, I just wanted to say hello and see how you are doing. Running into you a few weeks ago was the first time I've seen you in eight years. Well since,… you know when. I just hoped that if we are going to be running into each other again at Castle or elsewhere in the city, we could at least be friendly."

Carina looked intently at her former partner and saw the sincerity in what the handsome agent had said. One thing their partnership had taught her was how to read Marcus de Rossi by his eyes. He was a fantastic spy but the unspoken communication that good partners either develop or they die was one of the many reasons they had been successful. It's also one of the reasons that he was definitely not a nobody to Carina. As Marc waited for her response his eyes never left hers. They were trying to read each other and they both knew it.

A couple of other runners passed by the two former partners and it broke the intensity of the moment. It was exactly the distraction she needed but Marc decided to not let her off the hook. Before she could deflect he stepped forward closing the distance between them. He thought about reaching out and taking her hand but thought better of it.

"Carina, I'm sor..."

"Marc, don't. It was a long time ago. We were both a lot younger and a lot more foolish." The anger she felt when she saw him those weeks ago not evident in her voice this time. If anything it was tinged with sadness and resignation.

Marc realized that was about as much as Carina would ever do to acknowledge what had happened between them those many years ago. Forgiveness was probably out of the question. So he decided to change the subject.

"So how's working with Carmichael? I've heard some rather wild stories about him. He's kind of a legend with some of the analysts _'they'_ let us use on missions out of the country. But after meeting him, he wasn't what I expected."

Carina smiled a bit and her face softened. The thin ice they had been treading over now gone. "It's been great. He's the best partner I've ever had." She said with a signature Carina smirk.

"Ouch, you wound me once again."

"Just telling it like it is."

"Seriously Carina, I'm glad that things seemed to have worked out for you. You're a good partner and Carmichael's lucky to have you."

"Actually Marc, I'm the lucky one. Chuck is special. He's the best there is and the fact that he isn't what people expect him to be is one of the reasons for that. It's been an honor to be his partner." She beamed with pride as she said it.

Marc looked carefully at his former partner and with the same sixth sense that she had used with him earlier he could now see that she meant what she was saying. He also sensed that her admiration for Carmichael wasn't just professional. But as it had been for him those many years ago, getting a read on the real Carina Miller was just as difficult now. She was so good at her job that you wondered if there was anything more to her. She was the biggest enigma he had ever met. But that was part of her charm, even for a great spy like Marc Rossi. One day maybe he could share a beer with one Charles Carmichael and they could compare notes. He was sure that would be a fascinating conversation.

Marc reached for the bottle of water he had in the side pocket of his running shorts. Carina did the same with hers.

"To great partners."

"To great partners." She replied with a small smile.

They both took a drink and held each other's gaze just a little too long. Marc decided it was time to make a humble exit, breaking the moment.

"Well it was great seeing you again Carina. Give Carmichael my best and make sure he has your back. I wouldn't want that great ass of yours left unprotected."

Carina actually chuckled a bit. Marc Rossi was still just as charming as she remembered him. Plus it seemed the years had been good to him. Now in his mid-thirties he had a maturity about him honed from years in the field. Carina was sure many a female had fallen victim to that disarming charm and those gorgeous eyes. Probably a few men as well.

"Always the flirt aren't you."

"Well I learnt from the best." He smiled and closed the distance between them. He reached for her hand and gently squeezed it. She didn't pull away but actually squeezed his in return.

"Well I'd better be going. But Marc, next time you come up from behind me you might not be so lucky."

"Point taken. I do hope I see you again, Carina."

"Not too soon I hope." Carina smirked once more and turned and headed off to finish her run. As she moved away she felt those deep dark eyes of his watching her as she ran. It was a nice familiar feeling she hadn't felt in years. She quickly put it out of her head and headed off towards the apartment she shared with Chuck, Casey and Sarah. Tonight was another of 'her' nights and she wondered what Chuck had planned for them.

**Cairo**

"Casey, it looks like it's going to be another short report for the General when we check in later tonight. Same as yesterday. Nothing but a couple of small time criminals."

"Well, at least we are out of this hell hole tomorrow. I'm looking forward to a nice greasy burger and a bottle of Scotch."

"I'd forgotten how much I hated these kinds of missions."

Casey let out a 'hmmph' of agreement. "Not the glamorous spy life the CIA sold you on?"

"It rarely is."

"Ain't that the truth. At least I didn't have to spend a week listening to Miller ramble on. Can't say I was unhappy with the change in assignments."

Sarah tried to give her partner a small smile but he knew he had stepped in it. They had managed to not talk about it all week. He knew the change in plans was bothering her. Plus he had hoped that she and Bartowski could have talked out whatever tension there was between them and they could have gotten back to whatever semblance of professionalism they once had. But who was he kidding, Walker and Bartowski together were never simple and professional from the first day they met. Then you throw Carina in the mix and it was hell on earth.

"Walker look, what I meant was I like working with you. You're a good partner. I'm glad Beckman made the change is all."

Sarah lifted her head up from the surveillance gear and turned her head towards him with a little more sadness in her eyes.

"It wasn't Beckman."

"What?" He looked at her a little confused.

"Casey, Beckman didn't change the assignment on her own. Chuck asked her to."

"Why would the moron do that? He doesn't get to pick assignments."

"He did it so he could spend the week with Carina." She said as flatly as she could, but her disappointment came through.

Casey shook his head and grunted. "That kid really is an idiot."

"Casey I... shit! get my laptop." Sarah's attention had been diverted back to the surveillance gear when she saw an image that looked vaguely familiar.

"We got something Walker?" He said as he handed her the computer which she placed next to the one connected to the surveillance gear. She quickly punched the video feed from the camera up on the laptop next to hers. Scrolling back a few seconds the image of a man and a woman froze on the screen. Sarah clicked open a folder of old files she had encrypted. Entering the decryption key a number of image and text files appeared. Scrolling through the files she opened an image file and zoomed in on an image of a man talking on a cell phone. Zooming in on the video image it appeared to be the same man.

"There." Sarah said as she pointed to the image on the video. "That's Justin Sullivan, he was a mid-level Ring operative we were tracking when we first got to Paris. We lost him about eighteen months ago."

"What the hell is he doing with a low-level gun runner like Hassan?"

"Maybe Hassan isn't so low-level anymore."

"Who's the woman?"

"I'm not sure. I've never seen her before."

"So Hassan has some connection to the Ring. Maybe this mission isn't going to a bust afterall." Casey smiled as he pulled the slide back on his Desert Eagle.

"Casey, I'm going to go down and get a closer look. We need to know what's going on inside."

"Okay, I'll keep an eye out here and watch your six. If Hassan is involved with the Ring then..."

"I know. Let me know if you see anything on the comm link." Sarah grabbed her Smith and Wesson, her cell phone and wrapped her head covering around her blonde locks. She headed down the back stairs to the alley that led out to the street and eventually Hassan's shop.

As she exited the building she scanned the area. Seeing nothing unusual she decided to head south and swing around through the bazaar and come up on Hassan's shop from the crowded marketplace. She hoped the throngs of people would give her added cover.

"Any movement yet Casey?" She spoke softly as she made her way through the crowd.

"_Nothing. They're still inside."_

"Okay, I'm going to get a little closer and see if I can get a better look inside."

Sarah stepped behind a couple of carts and saw a stack of wooden crates that had been used to bring fruit to the market. It was dark in that area and with the sun setting above her and at her back it would be difficult for her to be seen. It would give her a good view of Hassan's shop. But from this position she couldn't see the dark Audi sedan parked in an alley thirty meters ahead of her position. Behind it was a dark blue Mercedes Sprinter van.

Inside the Audi the tall American watched intently as the scene was about to be played out in front of him.

"Everyone in position?"

"Yes sir. We have an eye on Walker and the red team is moving into position to grab her partner."

"Good, give them ten minutes and then have Agent Sullivan and his partner make their exit as we planned. Make sure she does as I instructed before she leaves the shop. That should be the distraction we need."

Sarah watched intently for any sign of movement from inside Hassan's shop. But all she could see was what looked like a casual conversation between who she thought was Sullivan, his partner who stood just to the side of him behind a display case and Hassan. After a few minutes went by she thought she saw Hassan hand over a small brown satchel.

"Casey, Hassan just handed a bag or something to them. Not sure what it was but when they come out I'm going to try and follow him. Keep an eye on Hassan."

"_Roger that_."

The American watched as a vendor pushed his canopied cart along the alley and turned onto the street in the direction of Hassan's shop. Once it passed the pre-arranged spot he simply nodded his head to his assistant.

"Now!" the assistant spoke confidently into his comm link. A group of local men headed down the street in the other direction blocking Sarah's view.

"_Walker, I think they are coming out but I've lost sight of the entrance_." Casey exclaimed.

"Me too I need to move."

"_I don't like this Walker. Something feels off. I'm coming down_."

"Casey head north and come around the other direction." Sarah stepped out from behind the fruit boxes and tried to move along the street towards the entryway when she saw Sullivan come out of the entry to Hassan's shop.

As Sarah stepped around the cart that was heading towards her she noticed the woman step out from behind Sullivan. When she saw the woman's head she stopped dead in her tracks. Her breath catching as she saw the scarf the woman was now wearing wrapped around her head. It was the same blue scarf she had seen at the bazaar the day before. The images she had daydreamed about came rushing back. Her slight hesitation was enough as she suddenly felt cold steel pressed against her kidney.

Before she could signal her partner he reached around grabbed her gun and a voice spoke his orders.

"Come with me, Agent Walker, someone would very much like to speak with you."

**Burbank**

**a few hours later **

"I have to hand it to you nerd boy, that was a pretty fun evening."

"So Miss super spy former DEA Agent approves?"

"Actually yes I do." The redhead kissed him briefly on the cheek, then smiled brightly as Chuck held the door to their spy apartment open and let his "date" enter before him. Of course Chuck had already scanned the security screen before he would allow his partner to go in. Gentleman or not, they were both still spies.

Carina walked in and flopped down on the couch. She kicked off her four inch black Dolche & Gabanna pumps. Chuck headed to the kitchen and grabbed the bottle of Pinot that he had stashed in the back of the cupboard before they had headed to the museum. Grabbing two glasses and the Brookstone electric corkscrew Chuck headed back to the living room and sat down on the other end of the couch.

Pouring them both a glass he handed Carina hers, smiled brightly and held his out to toast. "To great partners."

Carina hesitated for a split second. "To great partners" she replied and smiled back in her usual saucy way. But Chuck saw something in the redhead he had also noticed when she had returned from her run. It was brief but when he saw it again just now he knew something was up. But Carina wasn't someone you pressed on things like this. Like Sarah, you had to learn to read her expressions without asking. They were both too good at maintaining the perfect spy facade. Questioning them would only get you the standard answer they wanted you to hear. To see the true meaning you had to figure that out for yourself. And though he had gotten much better at it there was always just enough doubt to make him question if he saw anything at all. Sometimes the best thing to do was ignore it but sometimes you could steer the conversation to come at it another way. However, you did so at your own peril. Get too close and Sarah would shut down. Carina on the other hand always felt that the best defense was a good offense. Get too close to her and well... her verbal sparring was as lethal as Casey's armory.

"Ahh so you like me for my fine dating skills?"

"Well you do clean up nice, ... sometimes."

"And don't forget my extraordinary mission planning skills."

"Well you are a nerd remember."

"And proud of it." Chuck flashed his big Bartowski grin and the redhead just rolled her eyes.

Carina sat up, pulled her knees up and began to rub her feet. She grimaced just a bit as she rubbed her size eights that were finally released from their very expensive prison.

"Here let me, partner. I give very good foot massages remember?"

Carina stretched out with her head at the other end of the couch and put her feet in Chuck's lap. "How could I forget that mission in Buenos Aries. Those boots were two sizes too small."

"Yea but you looked super hot in them and the mark couldn't take his eyes off your legs."

"Chucky, was the nerd jealous?"

Turning red Chuck responded. "Me? No are you kidding? That guy was three hundred pounds and smelled like old stale cigars." He snorted.

"Well maybe I'm a bit of a chubby chaser." She said with a smirk.

"Please, I saw you cringing every time he dropped his hand a little too low on your ass."

She winced in remembrance. "Yea, he did cop one too many feels."

"Besides if I was ever going to be jealous it would be over Morgan." He said with a bit of a huff. She knew he was kidding as this was a subject that had come up more than once during their partnership.

"Still holding onto that one after all this time huh Chuck?"

"Well I don't think I'll ever get the idea of Carina Miller naked on Star Wars sheets out of my head."

"Hey, you turned me down first."

"You intimidated the hell out of me back then. You still do sometimes."

"Still your loss." She said with a smirk.

"One you'll never let _me _forget."

"Nope..." Carina closed her eyes and sighed. Chuck had hit on a particularly sensitive spot. "You do have some skills Chuck."

"Thanks," seeing his opening he began to steer the conversation. "So what's up with your feet? I know those museum floors were made of marble but I've seen you wear those shoes before and it's not like we walked ten miles. Did something happen while you were out running?"

Chuck felt just the slightest twitch in Carina's foot like the muscles tightened ever so slightly. He thought he caught her catch her breath for just a second s well.

_'Shit.' _she thought. She slipped up and she knew he caught it.

"No, I'm just tired and babysitting an injured nerd all week has made me soft."

"Carina, take it from me you are always soft." He thought about trying the Bartowski eyebrow dance it had always been destined to failure with Carina.

"So I'm soft huh?" She feigned being offended.

"No, not that." He answered embarrassed. "Never that. It's just ahh, soft in a feminine ahh, your skin,... well you know what I mean." He fumbled out.

"Well thank you Chuck that's sweet. I hope no one ever said that to you." She said with a very seductive look.

Chuck blushed bright red but he knew he had hit on something. Carina always deflected conversations away from subjects she didn't want to talk about by trying to embarrass him sexually. To be honest, it worked most of the time. _'So something definitely happened while she was out running.'_ he thought.

He gulped before he spoke. "No..Thankfully, no one ever has."

"Glad to hear it... for their sake." She smiled, lighter this time letting him off the hook.

After a few more minutes of Chuck massaging Carina's feet she pulled them back and leaned over and softly kissed him, this time on the lips. She was one confusing and frustrating woman.

"Chuck, I'm going to get some sleep. I'm going to need all my strength to get through that boring marathon you have planned for tomorrow. At least this one has that hot pilot in it."

"Well..."

"What?"

"You'll see."

"God, he's the only thing worth watching on that stupid show." She turned and headed towards the bathroom.

Stopping just before she headed in, she turned and looked over at her partner. She knew he had picked up on something. He was too good a spy not to notice. She had had a great time on their date but seeing Marc again today had thrown her just enough off her game that he had to pick up on it. She had thought about extending their kiss a bit longer, actually all night and well into morning. But she knew that wouldn't be fair to Chuck. He couldn't just wake up next to her and act like nothing had changed. If he had been able to, she would have screwed his brains out a long time ago.

Chuck was special and if Carina had learned anything from her relationship with Marc, it was that sex and partners can get sticky and the Chuck Bartowski she saw sitting on the couch with the TV remote was as sticky as an open jar of molasses. He was also the most honorable man she had ever known and the best partner she ever had. Taking that step with him risked all of that. Plus the one thing she knew was that a part of Chuck still loved Sarah. It was one of the things that made him so special. He gave his heart so easily and so completely. He could never simply take it back. She both admired him and felt sorry for him for that. That kind of love just wasn't for her or at least she had told herself that for the past eight years. The one time she opened herself up to it, she got burned and quickly made a promise to herself to always follow the cardinal rule of spying.

But one thing she had learned from her three years with Chuck was that he was like the ocean. Given enough time he could wear down the Himalayas. She had seen the evidence of it clearly in Sarah. She wondered if she would stand a better chance.

"Chuck?"

He turned his attention away from the TV screen he had turned on. "Yea?"

"Remember to change your bandage before you go to sleep and thanks again for a great night Chuck." She smiled sincerely.

"You're welcome, partner. It was fun for me too." He smiled sincerely back. Their kiss still fresh on both of their lips.

**Cairo**

Sarah felt the barrel of the weapon pushed into her ribs more firmly. Suddenly she heard a high pitched squeal in her earpiece. She knew they were jamming her link to Casey. Her captor reached around and took her weapon that she had in her right hand, hidden in the sleeves of her top.

"I'll take that Agent Walker. Now get moving and let's not attract any unwanted attention."

She did as he ordered all the while chastising herself for her slipup. The few spilt seconds of distraction caused by the scarf the female agent now wore were the kinds of small things that got Agents killed. It was one of the things she had prided herself on even going back to her days with the Cats. Situational awareness was one of their strengths and one of the reasons they were the best.

But if she was totally honest with herself her decline began the moment she stepped on that plane to DC three years ago. Working in an office at Langley was not what suited her talents best. She had let herself get rusty as she tried to make the best of a promotion she wasn't sure she ever really wanted. Leaving Burbank was mostly about other reasons she had tried desperately to put behind her. But she realized quickly that her personal life was as unfulfilling as the new job and professional partnership she had stepped into. Then ever since what happened a year ago, she had become even less focused, more easily distracted and now it had gotten her captured.

They continued to walk twenty or so meters and turned left into an alley near their apartment. She hoped that Casey had realized that this was all a trap and gotten out. Sarah Walker had been distracted and she hoped that her partner wasn't paying the price as well.

Casey stepped out of the rear door to the building and headed north. He hugged the walls as he looked for any possible danger above on the rooftops. These kinds of neighborhoods reminded him so much of some of the killing zones he had seen in Afghanistan and Iraq. They were death traps if the agent wasn't careful. Many times, even if they were. But even the best agent knew that you sometimes had to expose yourself and this one felt like one of those times.

As Casey was carefully scanning the surrounding buildings, he didn't notice the small plunger that stuck out of the ground. The grey sandy dust of the street blended it in perfectly. Feeling the subtle difference in pressure when he put his weight on his left foot, he knew he had stepped on something he shouldn't have. Lifting his foot would most likely be the end of him.

"Shit!" he exclaimed softly. From behind him, he heard the sound of a door creaking open. In that moment he thought about the partner he had let down out on the street all alone. He promised he would have her back and now someone nefarious no doubt, had his. He had seen how distracted she was all week and had been quick to try and cover for her. She wasn't the same agent she once was and she likely was in grave danger.

He thought about lifting his foot and at least taking out one of the bad guys with him but before he could react he felt a pin prick in his neck. As consciousness began to slip away he vowed that if he woke up and ever got the chance he would tell Sarah about what happened on the train tracks three years ago. She deserved to know and it might help bring her some peace. Maybe he could talk some sense into that moron Bartowski and those two would actually have the talk they should have had a long time ago. Two seconds later his world went black.

Sarah and her captor walked up to the black Audi that was parked in the alley. He grabbed her elbow and stopped her a few feet away. The smoked rear window began to open and a familiar face she had nightmares about appeared before her. The scar on his neck a brutal reminder.

"Well, ...Agent Walker, you must be getting sloppy. I never would have been able to sneak up on you like that a few years ago. I guess what happened in Dhamar shook you up more than you let on. But it's going to be fun getting reacquainted, don't you think?" The American smirked and tilted his head to the man holding Sarah. He quickly dragged her towards the Sprinter van parked behind them. The door slid open and Sarah was roughly thrown in the back. From around the corner she saw two men dragging her unconscious partner. He was thrown into the van along with her.

The agent in the front passenger seat quickly pulled out a scanner and moved it from her head to her feet. He pulled her phone from her left hip pocket. When he reached her right shoe it started beeping rapidly. The agent twisted the heel to reveal her emergency beacon. He quickly removed it and smashed it with a hammer. He then passed over the unconscious body of Casey and found what he was looking for. His cell and beacon were destroyed as well.

The two men who had been carrying her partner stepped in and the same one who had tranqed Casey took aim at her this time. Just as he was about to pull the trigger she noticed the rear door of the Audi open and saw Justin Sullivan and the woman who was still wearing the blue scarf step in. The Audi pulled out just as her world went black.

**Burbank**

**36 hours later**

"Ahh General we were just..." Chuck straightened himself up and moved away from his partner on the couch.

Ignoring him she got down to business. "Agent Miller, Agent Carmichael." Chuck knew something big was up in how she addressed them both.

"Yes, General?" Carina said before Chuck could stumble again.

"I'm afraid we have a serious problem. Agent Walker and Colonel Casey have not reported in, in 2 days. We have no GPS on their phones or any signals from any trackers. Nothing. Checking footage from all the cameras we could get access to in a fifty mile radius of their last location got us this footage. It's not much but we hope you can help us with this, Agent Carmichael. It may be our only lead."

Suddenly a dark grainy black and white image appeared on the screen. The image was from a camera in an ATM machine about thirty feet away. There was no way to tell for certain what they were seeing.

"General, there really isn't much there. What should we be seeing?" Carina asked.

"It's not what you should be seeing exactly but there is an audio file that goes with it. It's very low but our experts have processed and filtered it. It's not very long but you can clearly hear a man talking to Agent Walker." The General then pressed a button on her keyboard and a very poor quality, noisy recording began to play.

"Well, ...Agent Walker, you gssh... getting sloppy. I ne... would have been able gssh... sneak up ... gssh... like that a ... years ago. I guess what hap... gssh in Dhamar shook you up more than you let on...B... it's going... gssh ... be fun getting reacquainted, don't you think?" Carina then heard the sounds of bodies being thrown into a vehicle and speeding away but Chuck never did. As soon as he heard the name Dhamar, he flashed.

Chuck shook out of the flash and his face looked horrified at what he had seen.

"General, oh shit...oh shit… oh shit. Oh my God"

"What is it Chuck?" Carina asked. Her face was showing grave concern at the sight of her partner almost hyperventilating.

Chuck stood up and ran his hand nervously through his hair. He turned around, hurriedly walked a few steps before taking a breath and returning his gaze towards the screen. "Oh God... General, Sarah is in grave danger and we need to find her and Casey fast or I just... we can't..." His eyes closed in anguish.

"Oh God, what have I done?!"

He turned once again and began pacing in front of the monitors shaking his head. He wiped his right hand down his face as he tilted his head backwards. Carina got up and hurried over to him taking his hand in hers

"Chuck, please! This isn't your fault. Tell me. What did you see in your flash?"

He quickly pulled his hand from his partners and turned away from her towards the screen with the General who sat cold and expressionless.

"You knew, didn't you?" He said angrily.

Beckman just sat there stoically.

"General, how could you let me do this? How could you let me send her back there?"

"Agent Bartowski, we had no knowledge of any connection between..."

"General! Don't bullshit me!"

"Chuck! Sit down! Your outburst isn't helping." Turning her attention to the redhead who had a complete look of shock and confusion on her face.

"Agent Miller, get your partner back in his seat. The only way we are going to be able find Agent Walker and Colonel Casey is if we calmly talk this out."

Carina took his hand and pulled him back to his seat. She held his hand firmly not letting go this time.

"Now could either one of you tell me what the hell is going on? What connection didn't you have any knowledge of?"

Carina looked back and forth between her partner and her boss on the monitor willing one of them to speak. Getting frustrated that neither had begun talking she spoke once again. This time more forcefully.

"What connection and what does it have to do with Sarah?"

Looking over she saw Chuck lower his head and barely above a whisper he spoke.

"Dhamar"

"What did you say?"

The General spoke this time. "He said Dhamar. The connection we had no knowledge of was between the mission in Cairo and what happened in Dhamar."

She turned her attention towards the now very conflicted and guilt ridden Chuck.

"Chuck, when you asked for the mission assignments to be changed there was no way of knowing that there was a connection. I agreed to your request because I thought it would be good for Agent Walker to work this assignment with Colonel Casey. They were a good team and we need them back in top form. The Cairo mission was a simple surveillance on a suspected gunrunner who over the past year has been moving more guns and cash through the Suez from his storefront in Cairo. We just hoped to get a hit on some of his contacts. But we had no knowledge of any connection between him and the events in Dhamar."

Chuck leaned down, put his elbows on his knees and his fists against his forehead. Speaking to no one in particular, his voice cracking with emotion. "This is all my fault. Sarah's been captured and it's all my fault. If I hadn't been so selfish this never would have happened."

"Chuck, how can it be your fault? You've been here with me the entire time and haven't spoken to either Sarah or Casey in almost a week."

He looked up angrily at the redhead. "Carina, don't you get it? I asked for the change in assignments. I'm the one that put her in danger. Sarah was captured because of me!"

Carina reached out and tried to put her hand on his neck to comfort him but he pulled back with a look of unbridled remorse on his face she had never seen. Seeing him like this, riddled with guilt, broke her heart.

The General coughed to get the partners attention. Once they both looked at her she spoke quietly but deliberately.

"Agent Bartowski, we have no time to waste getting worked up about who is to blame here. The sooner we figure out the connection between Cairo and Dhamar, the sooner we can find Agent Walker and Colonel Casey. Understood?"

Chuck took a deep breath before answering. He knew the General was right. There would be plenty of time to worry about blame. Besides, it was all his. Now their attention had to be focused on getting Sarah and Casey back.

He sat back up straight in his chair and tried to compose himself. After a few seconds he responded, "Yes ma'am, understood." Carina watched him intently, his hands noticeably shaking.

"Good. Now tell us what you saw in your flash?"

Looking down again he spoke. "I saw the aftermath of what happened in Dhamar."

Carina still confused turned Chuck so that he was looking at her now. "Chuck tell me what happened in Dhamar and what does it have to do with Sarah?"

He looked up and stared into the eyes of his partner before him. His eyes steeped in anguish.

"Dhamar is where Sarah killed Daniel Shaw."


End file.
